|
1. |
|
|
|
|
Thats all baby!!
|
|
2. |
|
|
|
|
we CAN
take down the republi-CANTs
the ones trying
to wipe us from history
for centuries
WE CAN BE FREE
|
|
3. |
|
|
|
|
like I'm not here
talk about me
like I'm not here
you talk about me
like I'm not here
not here not here
you touch me like I'm not here
hands all over me, like I'm not here
you treat me like I'm not here
not here, not here, not here, not here
hahhaaaaa
and not HERE either
I'M RIGHT HERE!!!
|
|
4. |
|
|
|
|
how did the ocean get here
earth is round
formed waves & shores
amaze amaze
|
|
5. |
|
|
|
|
1. if i deny everything i am, will you love me
if i deny everything i am, i will die
2 no strings.
and the worst thing was, he would not admit we were married
not even after 13 years of being and living together
still he wanted me to perform as a wife, all of it, all the perks
committment, love, security from me, me there for him
while he kept his options open
he wanted a wife without being a husband
what makes a woman endure this?
history, her history
i found my diginity & I left him...behind
3. if you ever just let me have my feelings, let me feel what i feel
without shutting me down, burying me in avalanches of your defenses
your emotions overwhelming me
if you ever just let me feel, feel what i feel and not hijack the moment
if you ever give the space for me to touch my experience and share it
how different my life and heart would be
4. and, they still hold it against me
from the moment he laid eyes on me at 15 years old he pursued me
35, he wrote a letter to me telling me to run away with him
expressing what we would do sexually
even though, he was marrying my mother and i was her child
i showed her the letter, she took it and hid it away, defended him
i left them at 16
after sleeping with a knife under my pillow every night
and carrying it during the day
i left them, on my own in the city, anything was better than
being murdered by them
later, i visited them and my infant sister, his daughter by my mother
who he was molesting
i kept ten feet distance and carried my knife
he was always looking for that opportunity to violate me
he invited me to read porn magazines with him one day
i step further and further away
;i had the perception of a thick glass partition separating them and i
myself on one side in reality, them on the other; delusion
excruciating to be near them, unprotected and unsafe
my mother's disconnection, her oblivious collusion
she chose him over the survival of her child
they wouldn't allow me anywhere near my sister
as if I was the danger
the danger was that i knew the truth
for decades i tried to get through to my mother
she always met me with rage, denial and blame
at a party they through one time, in a "truth circle"
my mohter's freinds asked me "Why haven't we met you before?"
reluctant to answer i lowered my eyes
they prodded me and i heard truth voiced from my lips
"You haven't met me because my sister's father is a pedophile
he pursued me for years and molested her.
My mother and sister are in denial about this
they don't want it getting out."
i apologized to my sister for embarrassing her
but i did not apologize for speaking the truth that needed to come out
my sister and mother ostracized me for that moment of truth
they blamed and scapegoated me as "the problem"
they punished me with emotional blackmail
sister said to me "My father and you hate each other so much,
that you and I can never interact."
it was not i who hated or was hatefulf
i was a child trying to protect myself from a dangerous adult
and his enablers
they scapegoated me, as if i caused him to be a pedophile
and for knowing and speaking the truth
i was not ever the problem
they never forgave me
i called him out and they never forgave me
i was to carry the burden, protect a predatory perpertrator pedophile
i was to be the guilty one, i was to take the beating he deserved
he and his enablers hated me for not allowing him to victimize me
for not colluding with them in destroying me
for not colluding in the lie
the sorrow and heartbreak of this almost killed me
i was suicidal for years due to this
the betrayal, abandonment, abuse, the hatred done to me
that sort of heartache doesn't just disappear
it always remains with you
i was a child, a youth, a young adult...he was a grown man
they still hold it against me
i suffered it, endured it
i let go
i live my life
i learned to love myself
|
|
6. |
|
|
|
|
so sweet you kiss, i sigh
|
|
7. |
|
|
|
|
8. |
|
|
|
|
9. |
|
|
|
|
For all us girls, women, ladies
sisters, sisters, sisters
SIS STARRS, SIS STARRS
who have ever been
dogged, trod upon, stepped on
humiliated, violated, hated
disrespected, used, abused
cursed, reversed, coerced
disregarded. discarded
GASLIGHTED
betrayed
overpowered, DEFLOWERED against our power
shamed, defamed, victimized, stigmatized
SOUL murdered
MURDERED
backed into a corner
no way out
DRIVEN MAD & HELPLESS
aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
FOR ALL US SIS STARRS, SIS STARRS, SIS STARRS
INFINITE LIGHT, LOVE, LIGHT LOVE
INFINITE LOVE, LIGHT, LOVE, LIGHT
revenge & forgiveness
of our selves
FORGIVENESS OF OURSELVES
for what was done to us
by the HEARTLESS
LIGHT LOVE
LIGHT LOVE
LIGHT LOVE
LIGHT LOVE
LOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lalalalalaalalaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
|
|
10. |
|
|
|
|
I need you baby
|
|
11. |
|
|
|
|
ahhhh, ah, ahhhh ,ah, ahhhhhhh
|
|
12. |
|
|
|
|
What do you see?
Whate do you feel?
Tell me.
Do you feel?
|
|
13. |
|
|
|
|
theres good in the bad, bad in the good
do what you want, not what you 'should'
the pearl at the heart
hold the pearl before your eyes
behold the pearl
before your eye
(Lyrics: DT & dg)
|
|
14. |
|
|
|
|
the hell we've descended into
what we do
the angels we began as
the monsters we become
tiny spark of light
a spark of light
turn my palm
to see who i might be
in search of who i am
in the valleys
born into abyss
lift these eyes/i's
hit ground running
loose flesh on the way
the hell we've descended into
what we do
the angels we began as
the monsters we become
where is the embrace
where is the embrace
seek it in here
to find it
never leave me
never leave me
tenderness
descend, descend
on me
|
Moving on...
released January 23, 2021
deCoy Gallerina
